February 25, 2018 by Drafts & Crafts

With recently having a baby and several friends due around the same time, I felt inspired to share what I would like to call some Labor & Delivery Visitor Etiquette. 

This post came to me in an organic way, thankfully, I did not have any bad experiences with hospital visitors. I thought I would share what I think is appropriate when visiting a new mama or family for the first time after they have a baby incase anyone is unsure or needs some friendly tips. If you are around my age, then you know plenty of couples in their 20’s and 30’s who are having kids! And even if you are not around my age, everyone knows someone who is having a baby- a family member, a neighbor, a coworker, so this is pretty relevant stuff if you ask me! Let me start by saying, anyone who is visiting someone in the hospital should be a family member or relativity close friend. Visiting a new mother is a personal experience, I mean within the last 24-48 hours she gave birth to her tiny human! IT IS A BIG DEAL! To keep in short and concise, here are some pointers.

Do’s

• check with the mother first to make sure it is OK that you visit
• ask if they would prefer a certain time
• bring something- my main suggestion is FOOD. ask what their favorite place is or get something yummy!
• wash your hands right when you get in the room
• don’t over do your visit
• ask if you can get them anything on the way. I forgot chap stick one time and just wanted some Burt’s Bees!
• if you visit the home, ask if you can do anything. Remember, just folding some laundry can be a HUGE help
• be mindful of the mother breastfeeding (espeically if you and your husband go to visit, it may be something that a women is not comfortable learning or doing in front of others)
• pick something up for the new mom or make her lactation cookies. Most people bring something for the baby, but I think its extra special to bring a little something for the mama. After all, she did just push a baby out or have her abdomen sliced open!

Dont’s

• don’t visit with young children (mainly wild toddlers, some hospitals have a no children, except siblings policy)
• don’t hog the new baby and hold he/she for too long
• don’t offer advice or tell the parents they should be doing something a different way
• don’t go if you have been any type of sick in the past 7 days. newborns immune system can not handle anything!

If you are out of town

• send something, I recommend food over flowers. (I LOVE flowers, but when you get a few in the hospital it is just a pain to carry them all out)
• text message a friend or family member to congratulate them and let them know that you are thinking of them, that way they can respond at their earliest convenience.

These suggestions may seem like common sense, but it is nice to just be mindful when visiting anyone in the hospital or at their home. I have heard some crazy stories from friends who’s mother in laws just come in and start giving their opinion and let’s be honest, no one wants to hear that! I would love to hear if you have any ideas!

Keep in touch,
Dani

January 17, 2018 by Drafts & Crafts

We felt so many emotions as we prepared to become a family of 4:  nervous, excited, overwhelmed, & blessed. I wanted to share some tips that I believe made it a smoother transition on our first child and for myself.

Verance Photography

Since becoming a mother of 2, I have had a few mamas who are excepting baby number 2 to ask me how the transition has been and what they should expect from baby number 1. I always like to preface by saying that I am not an expert and every child is different, but I did want to share some ideas that helped our family. I can promise you I experienced every single emotion while pregnant with Winnie. I believe everyone does, but I think they happen at different stages depending on your current situation and the current temperament of your first child. For instance, from the moment I found out we were expecting baby number 2, I knew my kids would be pretty close in age and it didn’t scare me. Tanner was 10 months old when I got pregnant. He was the best baby so I was not worried at all about having another. Then when he started to become a wild toddler around 15 months, I was a nervous wreck, thinking what did I get myself into, why did I think I was ready for a second baby. BUT we prepared the best we could, I tried to work on the things I was worried about and now Winnie is here and Tanner is a wonderful big brother. I hope these tips can also help your family too!

While pregnant here are some ideas to start preparing child number 1:

• tell the child they are going to be a big brother or big sister from the moment you find out you are pregnant
• tell them they are getting a new baby, not that mommy and daddy are having a new baby
• talk about the new baby every day
• have the first child help get the nursery ready for their new sibling
• bring the child to a doctors appointment where they could see or hear their sibling
• get the child a baby doll of their own to teach them how to be gentle and hold a baby
• do your best to save up leave if you will be returning to work
• make sure your husband will be able to take a few days or more when the baby is born
• plan ahead and see if your family or friends can help you with your first child
• make some frozen meals because cooking with 2 kids is a big adjustment
• dependent on the age of your first child, work on those daunting tasks that need work (potty training, bed transitioning)
• get a gift for the first child and give it to them in the hospital when they come to meet their sibling for the first time.
• plan ahead and order some simple toys off Amazon to keep the first child busy when you have to tend to baby. They will be thrilled to have some new items and it will keep their attention for a little while. They do not need to be expensive or fancy. Winnie happened to be born the week before Christmas, which was lucky for us because Tanner had so many new toys to occupy him. If you do want to get crazy, I would get one big item, like a play kitchen or tool bench would be amazing for the first child to play with. Here are some items that we got for Tanner to play with after Winnie was born:
  1. Window Markers
  2. Coloring Book and Stickers (order a few coloring books and sticker books in their favorite characters)
  3. Play Doh and play kit – Tanner loves this Melissa and Doug Kit

While at the hospital:

• give the first child their gift from baby 2
• don’t hold baby number 2 when the first child walks in if you can help it. Sit the first child next to you in the hospital bed and have daddy bring over baby number 2
• introduce the second baby as “our baby”
• let the first child hold (with assistance if needed) their new sibling
• encourage them to touch, feel, smell, the new baby

When coming home:

• get the first child excited, remind them of their new role as big brother or big sister
• encourage them to help, even if it is simple things like, hand mommy a diaper or throw something away
• encourage them to sing to their sibling or bring then toys
• whip out one of those new toys if its a day when you need a break or the baby is extra fussy
• try to plan at least once per day (for 30 mins) where you give your undivided attention to your first time, color with them, make a snack with them, take them outback and play. This has been a big help for us, but also is very hard some days with all that has to get done.
• and last, listen to your mind and body! If you are having a tough time, ask for help. Remember anyone who has a baby knows how tough the transition can be. Ask a friend to pick up your first child if you need a break. Ask someone to come watch the kids so you can go to the grocery store alone. This can be life saving!!

 

I would love to hear if you have any more suggestions or what worked for your family! Best of luck to any expectant mother out there!

Keep in touch,
Dani

 

December 27, 2017 by Drafts & Crafts

With Winnie turning two weeks tomorrow, I wanted to quickly get her birth story live for anyone interested in reading it.

I hope everyone had the best Christmas spent with loved ones and relaxing. Our Winnie girl will be two weeks old tomorrow. Time is already flying by so I wanted to get her birth story up sooner rather than later! Most of you may know that I was longing for a VBAC delivery (vaginal birth after c section), but unfortunately that is not what happened. I am resting in the truth that God’s plan is perfect. God knew how Winsome would enter the world way before we ever did.

From the beginning of my second pregnancy I was seeing my regular OB and a high-risk specialist. Due to having preeclampsia/high blood pressure with Tanner, my second pregnancy was considered high risk. Tanner was born via c section at 37 weeks, you can read his birth story here. While I saw the high risk doctor from 20 weeks on with Winnie, nothing was ever wrong. My blood pressure was perfect my entire pregnancy and all of the extra blood work, tests, and scans looked wonderful.

My OB wanted me to schedule a c section from the beginning of my pregnancy, but I was standing strong about a VBAC. I really wanted the experience of having a vaginal birth. I truly believe that is what my body was created for. However, my body had other plans. At 37.5 weeks I went to my last high risk appointment and they did a full ultra sound with measurements and looked at all of her major organs. The high risk doctor was concerned about Winnie’s size. She was never measuring small, but at this appointment they said was she measuring below the 10th percentile for weight. They believed that Winnie weighted 5.5 pounds at 37.5 weeks. The baby was diagnosed with Intrauterine Growth Restriction (IUGR), and the high risk doctor said that he wanted the baby delivered no later than 39 weeks. They felt that our baby would grow faster outside of the womb.

When I went to my regular OB appointment a few days later, we discussed a plan. The OB told me that if my body did not naturally go into labor or if was not dilated by 39 weeks, then they would do a c section. If I was dilated, they would have induced me. I went crazy for the next 10 days trying to get Winnie out naturally: professional massages, prim rose oil, squats, walking, stairs, sex, breast pumping. You name it, I was willing to try it.

The OB scheduled me for a c section a day before 39 weeks (according to my 20 week ultra sound). This all was happening so fast that I really didn’t share the details with many people. It may have been selfish of me, but I was devastated to hear that I would most likely have to get another c section. When I got to the hospital for my c section, they checked my cervix one more time. The nurse sadly told me that my body was not showing any signs of labor so a c section it was. My c section was scheduled for 4pm. It sucked to have it that late in the day! I could not eat past midnight the evening before and they told me I would not be able to eat until the next morning. The surgery was running a few mins late. I walked into the OR to begin my spinal prep at 4:20pm.

With my husband by my side, Winsome Rose Colding was born at 4:44pm. Our little girl weighed 6 pounds, 7 ounces. While pulling Winnie out, my OB yelled this baby weighs a lot more than 5 pounds!! She is a little peanut, but she was by no means IUGR. It stinks that ultra sounds can be way off! After all of the back and forth, my husband and I were just so happy that Winnie was here and healthy!! The second c section was much more scary. I don’t know if that was because I knew what was coming and it made me more nervous. The first time was beautiful, the spinal tap did not make me nauseous at all! This time, I threw up and it felt like someone was sitting on my chest and I couldn’t breathe. During my c section with Tanner, my hands were tied down to the operating table. This time they said they no longer do that. It was nice to be able to have my husband hold my hand this time around.

After 2 days we were discharged and headed home! Post surgery has gone well. I am recovering fast and things are beginning to get back to normal. I was most nervous about coming home and being no help with Tanner. How was I going to take care of my 19 month old son that weighs 30 pounds if I can only lift Winnie?? Luckily my parents were here to help me and Jason was off work for a few days around Christmas. Winnie has been a dream boat baby. She is sleeping 3-4 hour stretches at night and we are doing our best to get her on a schedule. Tanner has been the sweetest big brother. We feel beyond blessed to be a family of 4! Thank you for everyone’s well wishes, kind words, food, help, calls, texts!!

Keep in touch,
Dani